"There wasn't an inch to spare. By the time we had them all lit, it looked like a torch," said Eddi Carlin, a guest of the birthday party. "We had just sat down to eat when we saw them in the doorway."
The smoke from the blown-out candles set off the smoke alarm and resulted in the fathering of five engines and two ladder companies. After realizing that a fire was non-existent, the firefighters left, but not without taking a picture with the birthday girl first.
"In my 23 years on the job, I've seen a lot of things set off a fire alarm, but I don't think I've ever heard of one going off because of a birthday cake," said Fire Chief Lonnie Lamb.
Go back and review broadcast style and format, in the text and on the Resources page of the class blog. This should be ALL CAPS and shorter. You need to start with an attention-getting opening, then say what happened.
ReplyDelete6/10 - please revise and republish